


we should just kiss like real people do

by blackthorns



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Missing Scenes, the fake dating storyline we deserved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackthorns/pseuds/blackthorns
Summary: Betty and Archie have been best friends forever, so of course it's easy for them to pretend to date. After all, it's just an act, right?
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper
Comments: 10
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! here i am with the beginning of yet another barchie fic because i'm way too invested in them. this is basically just a more detailed version of the fake dating storyline in 4x15 and 4x16, because the writers paid it dust. title is from the song "like real people do" by hozier :)

Faking her boyfriend’s death seems straightforward at first.

Betty does everything right. She calls Charles for help and gets rid of the evidence tying her to Jughead’s murder. She plays the part of the grieving, vengeful girlfriend with their enemies at Stonewall Prep. She even pays creepy Dr. Curdle Jr. to make Jughead look like a corpse when the Stonies barge into the morgue.

But it’s still not enough.

As her mother begins to visit Riverdale High to work on her documentary about Jughead’s death, Betty starts to hear whispers. Apparently, some of the kids Alice is interviewing don’t seem to be buying into the whole charade.

A few days after Jughead’s “death” is announced, Kevin corners Betty in the hallway. “Betty, have you noticed what everyone’s saying?” he asks.

“What, Kev? Is it about Jughead?”

“People don’t think he’s really dead. A lot of them are suspicious,” Kevin tells her.

Betty sighs. This certainly isn’t ideal. “Kevin, that’s ridiculous. Tell everyone that that’s impossible, and they’re acting crazy.”

“Is it really so impossible, though?” Kevin says. “I mean, we live in Riverdale.”

“Oh my god, do you hear yourself? My _boyfriend_ is _dead._ How can you say that to me?” Betty tries her best to sound distraught.

Kevin holds up his hands. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I just thought you should know.”

Later, Betty finds Veronica and Archie in the student lounge. They’re sitting on one of the couches, Veronica’s legs propped up in Archie’s lap.

Sitting down in one of the chairs across from them, Betty announces: “We have a problem.”

Veronica arches an eyebrow. “What’s wrong, B?”

“People all over school are saying that Jughead isn’t dead. Even Kevin is starting to have doubts.”

“Wait, what?” Archie leans forward, frowning. “Why would they think that?”

“I don’t know,” Betty replies. She glances around nervously, lowering her voice. “All I know is: it’s only so long before these rumors reach the Stonies, and then it’s all over.”

“I can’t believe this,” Veronica says. “What kind of soulless monsters turn their classmate’s death into some crazy conspiracy theory?”

“Welcome to Riverdale, Ronnie,” Archie mutters.

Betty buries her face in her hands. “I don’t get it. We got rid of all the evidence. We had a whole funeral, and Donna and Bret _saw_ Jughead’s corpse in the morgue. I mean, what else could we possibly do?”

She glances over at Veronica and sees a pensive look on her face. Betty knows that look. “What is it, V?” she asks.

Veronica is tapping her chin with one finger, grinning slowly. “I have an idea. If we want people to believe that Jughead is really dead, then something needs to happen that would be impossible if he were truly still alive.”

“Like what?” Archie asks.

Veronica glances back and forth between Betty and Archie. “You two…need to date.”

Archie scoffs as Betty lets out a short laugh. “Come on, V,” she says. “That’s insane.”

“Yeah, what would that even prove?” Archie adds.

“Just humor me,” Veronica tells them. “Think about it. Everyone at school knows how serious Betty and Jughead are, and Archiekins and I are basically attached at the hip.” She squeezes Archie’s hand affectionately. “Nothing would ever happen to disturb the status quo if Jughead was alive.”

As much as Betty hates to admit it, Veronica has a point. “Okay, fine. Let’s say we do this. How are we going to make it believable?”

“Wait, Betty, are you sure about this?” Archie asks her.

“Arch, the Stonies tried to _murder_ Jughead. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they pay for that.”

Archie sighs. “Okay. I guess I’m in if you are.”

Veronica claps her hands together. “Perfect. And as for how we’ll make it believable, leave that to me.” She stands up, grabbing her bag. “I’m going to be late for class, but how about we meet at the bunker later to go over the game plan?”

Betty and Archie both nod in agreement, exchanging an apprehensive glance as Veronica walks away.

—

“Betty, are you out of your mind?”

Jughead paces the floor of the bunker, trying to wrap his head around what his girlfriend is telling him. “You want to pretend to date _Archie_? While my supposed dead body is still warm?”

“I know it sounds crazy, Jug, but it makes sense,” Betty says. “Archie and Veronica will be here soon, and Veronica will explain everything.”

Jughead thinks he has the right to be skeptical, since it wasn’t all that long ago that Betty was pining for Archie and sharing an unfortunate kiss with him in front of Cheryl Blossom’s house. But Betty is giving him a pleading look, and he figures it’s worth a shot to at least hear the plan. “Alright, I’ll listen to whatever scheme you guys have concocted.”

When Archie and Veronica arrive, the four of them take a seat around the table in the middle of the bunker.

“So,” Veronica begins, “Jughead, as we know, was declared dead a few days ago. But now it appears that we have some…skeptics in our midst at Riverdale High.”

“After three years of masked serial killers, organ harvesting cults, and people in gargoyle costumes running around the woods, _this_ is the thing that people can’t believe?” Jughead says.

“Unfortunately for us, yes,” Betty replies, giving him a sympathetic look.

Veronica continues. “As I’m sure Betty has informed you, Jughead, I have a plan. A Betty-Archie relationship will shock our classmates to their very core, enough to dispel any doubts that our dear friend Jughead Jones is indeed no longer one of the living.”

“So what exactly are we going to….do?” Betty asks.

“I have it all planned out,” Veronica says. “It needs to be dramatic, yet realistic. Here’s what I’m thinking: we drop hints in front of someone who loves to gossip, someone like Cheryl. And then we stage a kiss-”

Jughead, Betty and Archie all interrupt at the same time.

“I don’t know-”

“Is that really-”

“Ronnie-”

Veronica rolls her eyes. “Relax. It’ll just be once, to really seal the deal. Once someone exposes the kiss, I’ll play the part of the scorned girlfriend, Betty and Archie will be “official” in the eyes of our classmates, and there you have it. An established Barchie romance.”

Jughead cringes at Veronica’s phrasing, but he has to admit that the idea has merit. Despite her past feelings for Archie, Jughead knows he and Betty are strong now. He can’t imagine her leaving him for his best friend after everything they’ve gone through to get here.

“Okay, you have my blessing,” he says, and Veronica grins.

She gets a text alert and glances down at her phone. “Right on time. I invited Cheryl to Pop’s tonight so we could get started as soon as possible.”

“Ronnie, what are you talking about?” Archie asks.

Veronica takes his arm. “You, Archiekins, are about to take Betty on her first date.”

“What? Right now?” Betty interjects.

“Yes,” Veronica says. “Just go to Pop’s, try to look sad about Jughead, and maybe throw in a handhold for good measure.”

Betty sighs, but she gets up from her seat. “This is so insane.”

Archie stands as well, his shoulders tense as he glances warily between Betty and Veronica. “Agreed,” he says. “But I guess we better get going.”

Veronica waves as they climb up the ladder out of the bunker. Once he hears the _thud_ of the entrance being sealed, Jughead turns to look at her.

“How are you so…confident about this?” he asks. He can’t tell whether it’s just bravado, or whether she’s actually this excited about their plan.

Veronica smirks. “I love a good scheme, and it’s been ages since I’ve been a part of one that didn’t involve my father. Besides, it’s not like we have anything to worry about.”

Jughead raises his eyebrows. “You trust Archie?”

“Of course,” Veronica scoffs. “You don’t?”

“I trust Archie, and Betty, but I can’t help but have a strange sense of déjà vu. You remember sophomore year.”

Jughead notices her wringing her hands under the table, the only crack in this otherwise perfectly crafted armor that he’s been able to spot so far. “We all did things we regret during sophomore year,” she says, rolling her eyes a little more dramatically than he feels is necessary. “I mean, weren’t you involved in an illegal drag race with a bunch of drug dealers?”

He has to admit that she does have a point, despite his persistent unease. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just hard to stomach the idea of my girlfriend and my best friend, together, in front of the entire school.”

Veronica stands, smiling brightly as she pats his shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about.I trust Archie and you trust Betty. Just stay in the bunker, work on our case, and I’ll handle everything aboveground.”

She turns on her heel to leave, shoes clicking on the floor as she walks away. Jughead sighs and runs his hands through his hair. He still hasn’t gotten around to replacing his beanie since it was thrown into the fire, and he feels unbalanced without it.

_This will be worth it_ , he thinks. _Our plan will work, and everything will be okay._

He convinces himself that he believes the words.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! for some reason this chapter took ages for me to write even though it's super short. it kinda feels like filler to me, but enjoy!!

Sitting across from Betty in Pop’s, Archie watches Cheryl Blossom closely.

She has her back to their booth, but Archie can see that she’s sitting up straight, her head tilted slightly in their direction. She’s clearly trying to eavesdrop, just as they’d hoped.

Betty is looking at him expectantly, her eyes watery with pretend tears for her “dead” boyfriend. Archie reaches out to cover her hand with his. “Day by day, Betty, we’ll get through this. Together,” he says.

“I just don’t know why everyone at school is saying that he’s still alive; he isn’t. And these crazy rumors are just making it so much more painful,” Betty replies. She lets go of her coffee cup to clasp his hand in both of hers, and a warm feeling spreads through Archie’s chest. She’s one hell of an actress.

Out of the corner of his eye, Archie watches as Cheryl turns and sees them. Even without looking directly at her, the shock is evident on her face. Archie swallows and glances at his and Betty’s hands. He hopes his expression looks earnest enough to be believable.

Cheryl gets up from her seat and sashays toward their table, a tight smile on her face. Archie finds himself reluctant to remove his hand from Betty’s grip, but he pulls away and tries to school his face into a guilty expression.

“Betty!” Cheryl says brightly. “And…Archie.” She looks Archie up and down. “How are we…coping this evening?”

“Cheryl, it’s not a good time,” Betty replies, wiping under her eyes. Archie can’t believe how well she’s selling this.

“Forgive me for wanting to check in, cousin, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Though it seems you’ve already got all of the support you need.” Cheryl raises her eyebrows, looking at Archie. He glances away, not trusting himself to say anything in response. He’s always been a terrible liar.

Thankfully, Betty interjects. “I’m fine. Really,” she tells Cheryl.

“Hm. If you say so,” Cheryl replies. “I should be going, but do try to keep your hands to yourselves. Poor Jughead’s body isn’t even cold yet.” She flounces away, and Archie breathes a sigh of relief.

Once he hears the ring of the bell at the front door, Archie leans forward. “Do you think she bought it?”

Betty nods. “Definitely. She’ll be watching us like a hawk at school.”

“Great. How long do you think we’ll have to keep this up?”

“I don’t know,” she says with a shrug. “I guess until we can prove that the Stonies killed Jughead.”

Archie is already sweating thinking about having to continue lying to all of their friends and family members. He guesses Betty can probably tell what he’s thinking about, because she reaches out to cover his hand with hers. For real this time.

“Arch, it’s going to be fine. I’m sure Veronica has a plan; all we have to do is do exactly what she says.”

“I know, you’re right.” Archie glances around and notices some of the guys from the football team sitting in a booth nearby, a few of them looking their way. He grabs Betty’s hand instinctively, intertwining their fingers.

“How about I walk you home?” he asks. His voice is probably louder than necessary, based on the way Betty looks as if she’s holding back a laugh.

“Sure,” she replies, making a face at him once her back is turned to their classmates.

As they walk out of Pop’s hand in hand, Archie’s phone rings. It’s Veronica. _She really isn’t wasting any time_ , Archie thinks.

“How did it go?” she asks.

“Good, I think,” he tells her. “Cheryl seemed like she believed something was going on.”

“Excellent. Tomorrow is when we’ll really set things in motion.”

Archie sighs. “We haven’t already done that?”

“Patience, Archiekins,” Veronica says, “Great plans take time.”

Veronica explains her plan for the following day, including the exact time and location that Archie and Betty are supposed to kiss. Archie tries not to grimace when she begins explaining her idea to “catch” them and cause a scene in front of everyone.

When he finally hangs up the phone, Betty smiles and bumps his shoulder with hers. “So? What’s the plan?”

Archie opens his mouth to fill her in, but finds himself blushing at the prospect of explaining everything. How do you tell your best friend that in less than twenty four hours, you’ll have to be kissing and acting in love? He doesn’t think it’ll be that difficult since he and Betty are so close, but he doesn’t want her to be uncomfortable-

“Arch?”

Archie blinks. “Uh, yeah. The plan.” Clearing his throat, he continues. “Ronnie is gonna decorate Jughead’s locker, with Cheryl’s help, and then you and I are supposed to meet there after second period. And then we go to the music room.”

Betty frowns. “Why? Is there more?”

“Yeah that’s…where she said we should kiss.”

“Oh,” Betty says, raising her eyebrows.

“Listen, Betty, we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, I’m sure we can figure something out,” Archie tells her. He realizes he’s been nervously twisting his hands together and shoves them into his pockets.

“It’s okay, Arch. I know it seems a little…weird, but if this will work, I think it’s worth it. I mean, it’s not like we haven’t kissed before-” She breaks off, and Archie swears she’s blushing when he looks at her. “So, um, I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Archie finds himself nodding quickly, but he’s not sure whether he’s trying to reassure Betty or himself.“Yeah, of course. Nothing weird about dating my best friend’s girlfriend while he hides in a bunker.”

Betty snickers. “Super normal senior year, huh?”

They reach the ends of their respective driveways, and when Archie turns to say goodnight, he notices Betty looking at her house wistfully. Archie knows the feeling. The steps haven’t looked the same to him since the night of the sophomore year dance.

“What is it, Betty?”

“I’m just…remembering.” She smiles a little, her eyes meeting his. “When I was younger, I never would’ve imagined that us, together at school, would be happening because we were trying to fake someone’s death. Especially not _Jughead’s_ death.”

Archie smiles back, that familiar feeling of fondness blooming in his chest. He knows he probably shouldn’t say what he’s thinking, but he can’t resist. “We’ll finally get to be a power couple.”

“Oh my god,” Betty says, burying her face in her hands. “I’m blocking that out of my memory.”

Archie wonders what she would say if she knew he’d also thought about them as a couple. How could he not, when she’d lived next door his entire life and knew him better than anyone else in the world?Of course, the idea of them as a couple had never really been possible. He’d met Veronica, and she’d started dating Jughead.

So they’re just friends. Best friends.

“Goodnight, Betty,” Archie says.

“Night, Arch.”

When Archie goes inside, he finds his mom sitting in the living room. “Hey, Mom.”

“Archie! I’m glad you’re home,” Mary says. Archie notices that she’s holding a piece of paper in her hands. “Brooke came by to drop off an application for the Naval Academy.It’s a little late to apply, but she can put in a good word for you.”

“Oh.” His application has been the last thing on Archie’s mind lately. “Uh, tell her thanks.”

He retreats up to his room, leaving the Naval Academy form on his desk. Honestly, the main reason Archie has avoided thinking about applying is because it’ll mean leaving for the summer. He knows it seems insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but he had been hoping to have one last summer with all of his friends.

Archie looks out his window, feeling a little dismayed that Betty has her curtains closed. He wonders if he should talk to her about his application. He and Betty have spent every summer together since they were five years old, and he’s not sure he’s ready to accept that things might be different this year.

He also can’t wrap his head around the fact that he’s going to be spending his last weeks of high school pretending to date his best friend. 

He supposes it almost makes sense, in a way. When they were little, Archie and Betty both imagined a world where they were together at eighteen. Despite the ever-present thought of Veronica and Jughead, Archie can’t help but wonder.

Maybe things would be different if he hadn’t walked away from her two years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay tuned for some fun angst in the next chapter ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got inspired to update this fic so i'm back with some more fake dating content :) i think this will have one more chapter after this one

Betty doesn’t usually consider herself a nervous person, but today she’s on edge.

Veronica’s plan has been the running through her mind all morning. The only thing Betty can think about is how in a few short hours, she’ll be kissing Archie. And the whole school will know about it.

She’s so distracted that she nearly pours apple juice into her cereal bowl instead of milk, causing Alice to give her a strange look.

“Are you alright, Elizabeth? You’ve been acting strange,” her mother says.

Betty grimaces. “I’m fine, Mom. Just…a lot on my mind.”

“Is it because of Jughead? Oh, honey, if you need to talk about it, I’m here. I’ll even keep my camera off.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom. Good to know my feelings are more important than your documentary about my boyfriend’s death,” Betty replies.

Alice sighs. “I’m sorry, I know you’re dealing with it in your own way. Just let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Betty says, giving her a tight smile. If only her mother knew what she was really worried about.

“Have a good day at school!” Alice calls as Betty steps out the front door.

_Yeah_ , _let’s hope I have a good day kissing my best friend to convince people my boyfriend is dead,_ Betty thinks.

___

Betty and Archie’s kiss is supposed to take place right after third period.

Betty takes a deep breath as she closes her locker door and begins to make her way down the hall. She swallows, preparing herself to look sad when she sees the notes decorating Jughead’s locker.

A semi-circle of students has formed around the memorial, and everyone glances warily at Betty as she approaches. Cheryl stands across the hallway, her lip curling as she takes in Betty’s heartbroken expression.

As soon as Betty catches sight of Archie by her side, she turns and flees to the music room. She remembers the text Veronica had sent them earlier. _Talk beforehand, make it seem as realistic as possible. We don’t know who could be listening._

Soon after, Betty hears Archie’s footsteps behind her. “Betty, you okay? You wanna talk about it?”

“I can’t do this, Arch. I feel so alone,” she says. They never rehearsed any of this; the words just spill out. Betty realizes that they’re true, though. The past few weeks have been weighing on her more than she realized.

“You’re not. Betty, I promise I know how hard this is,” Archie tells her.

“I just wanna feel… _good_ , even for just a few moments.”

Archie grabs her hands. “I’m here for you, Betty. I always have been.” The look in his eyes is so earnest that it makes Betty’s chest hurt. It’s almost enough to make her forget this isn’t real.

“Yeah, you have, haven’t you?” she says.

Archie’s looking at her with such fondness that Betty finds herself naturally leaning closer to him. Her eyes flick to his lips.

And then they’re kissing.

It’s tentative at first, Betty softly pressing her lips to Archie’s. Her hands are still clasped in his, and she feels him squeeze them gently.

She’s caught off guard by how well they fit together, and Betty realizes then that they never discussed how long this was supposed to last. She pulls back for a second, wondering if this is too much, if it’s dangerous to linger like this. Kissing Archie shouldn’t feel this right, and she definitely shouldn’t _want_ to be kissing him.

But Betty doesn’t think she’d be able to stop even if she wanted to. Their lips meet again, and she moves her hand to Archie’s shoulder as his hands find her waist. The feeling of the kiss is making her unbalanced, all rational thoughts going out the window.

She’s almost certain that they’ve given Cheryl enough time to spot them and take a photo. She knows she needs to pull away from the kiss, but Betty isn’t ready for it to be over yet. Once they stop, they’ll have to continue like everything is normal, and Betty will have to pretend to be okay with the fact that this will never happen again.

It’s Archie who eventually breaks their embrace. His hands fall away from Betty’s waist as he steps back, his eyes meeting hers.

Betty tries not to think about how flushed he looks.

Archie clears his throat. “Well, um, we should probably-” He breaks off, gesturing toward the door.

“Yeah, we should go,” Betty replies quickly, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. She’s not used to feeling awkward around Archie, and she doesn’t like it at all.

They make their way to the student lounge, where Veronica had instructed them to wait so she could storm in and stage a confrontation. Betty finds herself wringing her hands nervously as she and Archie sit down on the couch, hoping that they’re actually able to pull it off.

“Hey,” Kevin says, nodding to them from his seat.

Betty tries to smile at him. “Hi, Kev.”

“How did you guys do on the biology test?” he asks.

Betty is distracted for a few minutes while they talk about school, but she’s still hyperaware of Archie’s presence next to her. His leg brushes hers as he leans forward to say something to Kevin, and Betty chides herself.

_Snap out of it. Veronica will be here any minute._

Like clockwork, Veronica Lodge bursts into the student lounge, her face a perfect mask of anger.

“Betty? Really, Archie? Of all people, _Betty_?”

___

“You want us to _what_?”

“Relax, Archie, it’s only for a few minutes,” Jughead says.

Archie can’t believe they’re actually doing this. “So you want me to make out with Betty while you lay under the bed? Does that not sound weird to you at all?”

“We need this to be realistic. If you and Betty were really together, you wouldn’t just be laying here cuddling all alone in the dark-”

“Okay, I get it,” Archie says.

“Oh, and you should take your shirt off,” Jughead adds.

“Jug, really-”

“Betty will be here any minute, and Donna will be close behind her. Get in position.” Jughead raises his eyebrows at Archie, and then slides under the bunker cot.

Sighing, Archie pulls his shirt off. He tosses it to the side and lays down on the bed just as he hears the sound of the bunker entrance opening.

Betty appears beside the bed, holding a flashlight in one hand and a bag of food in the other.

“Jug?” she calls, shining the flashlight under the bed.

“Right here,” he replies, voice muffled.

She shines her flashlight over Archie, and he sees her do a double take. “Why are you shirtless?”

He doesn’t have time to answer before he hears the sound of the bunker opening again. Betty immediately clicks off the flashlight and practically throws herself on to the bed next to him. They’re so close that he can feel her breath on his face.

“Do it now!” Jughead hisses from under the cot.

“Do what?” Betty whispers.

“Um, Jug thinks that we should kiss. To make it seem real,” Archie tells her quickly.

“ _What_?”

He hears the sound of footsteps on the bunker ladder. “We don’t have to, it’s fine-”

Before Archie can say anything else, Betty grabs his face and kisses him.

As soon as her lips are on his, Archie remembers exactly why he’d been reluctant to agree to this. Their kiss in the music room has been the only thing on his mind all day, and kissing her again is like playing with fire. Kissing her feels _right,_ despite the fact that they’re supposed to just be friends and Betty’s boyfriend is currently laying under this bed.

Without thinking, Archie moves to kiss Betty’s neck. She leans into his touch, reaching out to wrap an arm around him and pull him closer. It’s only after she softly gasps “ _Arch,_ ” that Archie realizes what he’s doing.

_If Jughead heard that…_

Archie’s mind is racing. He thinks he should probably feel more guilty about wanting to kiss someone who isn’t his girlfriend, but Betty’s lips are soft, and her fingers are tracing patterns on his skin-

He’s saved by Donna Sweett’s flashlight beam.

The light shines in his eyes as he sits up, Betty bolting upright alongside him. “ _Donna_?” she exclaims. “Get out of here, you pervert!”

Archie catches sight of Donna’s mortified expression for a split second, and then she’s turning around and running out of the bunker. He feels Betty let out a long breath, still pressed up against her side on the small bed.

He hears rustling from underneath the cot as Jughead emerges and stands up to go light some of the candles around the bunker. Archie’s glad the lighting is dim, because he’s certain his face is flushed from the kiss with Betty. She’s moved to sit on the edge of the bed, her back to him, and it takes all of Archie’s self control not to reach for her.

_Snap out of it. This is your best friend,_ he thinks. 

“Did she look convinced?” Jughead asks.

“Her face was priceless,” Betty tells him. “I think we finally got the message across.”

Jughead grins, walking over to give Betty a kiss. It’s like Archie isn’t even there.

He grabs his shirt from the end of the bed, tugging it on quickly. “I’m gonna head home, I’ll see you guys later,” he says.

“I’ll come with you,” Betty replies. “Never good to be in these woods alone.”

Archie’s heart skips a beat at the thought of being alone with her again, and he clears his throat. “Um, okay.”

Once they’re outside, neither of them speak at first. Archie wonders if they need to talk about this. He feels the strange need to apologize, even though he isn’t sorry at all. He’s debating how to broach the subject when Betty breaks the silence.

“We forgot to drink our milkshakes,” she says.

Archie lets out a short laugh. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

“I’m always thinking about milkshakes.”

It’s small talk, but at least they’re talking, and it’s (mostly) not awkward. “I think we can do something about that,” he tells her. “Want to hit Pop’s?”

Betty grins in response, and Archie’s chest feels tight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!! this fills in the blanks from 4x16. i really liked writing this story and hope you like it too <3

Archie never thought he’d end up dating two people at once.

He tries to wrap his head around the fact that Veronica, his actual girlfriend, is currently laying beside him talking about Betty, his fake girlfriend, who’s also dating his pretend-dead best friend. It’s hardly the strangest thing that’s ever happened to him, but somehow it feels like it is.

Archie notices Veronica looking at him, her expression hard to read, and he gives her a quizzical look.

“I just have to ask…” She bites her lip. “When you were pretending to be with Betty…You didn’t feel anything, did you?”

Archie’s heart skips a beat. He and Betty kissed; of course he felt something. But that’s just a natural reaction, isn’t it? It doesn’t mean anything, not in comparison to his real relationship. It can’t mean anything.

“Ronnie, when will you learn? You are, now and forever, the only girl for me,” he tells her.

Veronica kisses him, and Archie almost believes the words.

___

Betty gives Jughead the beanie she knit for him, and she feels happy.

_Happy_ isn’t the right word, per se, but she at least feels satisfied. As she looks at her boyfriend sitting in front of her, the candles in the bunker illuminating his face, she thinks she’s done it. She’s managed to expel any stray thoughts about Archie, any lingering wonder she felt after their kiss. Of course, she hasn't thought much about how their fake dating will have to continue for God knows how long. 

But that’s a problem for another night.

Betty reaches up to adjust Jughead’s beanie. He meets her gaze for a few seconds, but then his eyes flick away.

“When you kissed Archie…None of those old feelings came back, did they?” Jughead asks.

Betty feels herself smiling, even as her pulse quickens. “Jughead…No. Of course not.”

A fleeting flashback to that day two years ago when she said the exact same words.

_“Have you…done anything with anyone since we broke up?”_

_“No! No, of course not.”_

Betty continues. “You know you’re the only man for me.”

She climbs on to his lap and lets his touch distract her from her thoughts.

___

After Veronica leaves, Archie’s working on his homework when he gets a text.

It’s Betty.The message reads: _Thanks for your help. Hope I wasn’t a bad kisser._

So she waited to talk about the kiss until she could do it over text. Archie can relate to that sentiment. _Lol. You were great. Happy to do that any time,_ he types.

His finger hovers over the send button. Can he say that to her? _Should_ he say that to her?

He shakes his head, deleting the second part of the message. Better safe than sorry, even if he’s telling the truth.

She replies right away, sending him a message that says “ _Night”_ with a kissing emoji.

Archie smiles, sending one back.

___

On Monday morning, Betty opens her front door and finds Archie outside.

She’s a little surprised; they haven’t walked to school together in ages. Betty supposes it’s appropriate, though, since they’re supposed to be a couple and all.

Apparently Archie thinks so too. “I thought I should walk you to school. You know, as your…boyfriend,” he says. Betty notices that he’s fidgeting nervously, shifting from one foot to the other.

She tries to hide her smile. “Sure, Arch. I’d like that.”

Betty wonders if she should feel more awkward with him, considering the circumstances, but she finds herself grateful for his company as they walk in comfortable silence. It’s been forever since they actually spent time alone together, and she feels a bit like they’re making up for lost time.

Before they walk up the front steps of the school, Betty blurts out: “Why did we stop doing this?”

Archie frowns. “Doing what?”

“Walking to school together. I…It’s nice.” Betty looks away, finding herself blushing.

“Yeah, it is,” Archie says. He reaches for her hand, and Betty feels him squeeze it gently. “We can make it a regular thing, if you want. Definitely wouldn’t hurt for everyone to see us together.”

His words give Betty butterflies in her stomach, and she tries her best to ignore them. Pretending to date Archie seemed like a fine idea when it was just that- an idea. But now that he’s standing beside her holding her hand and looking at her like he’s really in love, her knees feel weak.

Betty knows she should hate this, but she can’t. It’s the fantasy she’s had in the back of her mind for ten years finally coming to life.

She and Archie walk through the front doors of the school, and Betty watches as their classmates turn to look at them. It feels like they’re walking in slow motion, hands swinging between them as the crowded hallway parts to let them through. Betty never had anyone look at her like this when she was dating Jughead.

_Power couple, indeed,_ she thinks.

She can see Veronica and Cheryl out of the corner of her eye, standing in the door of their homeroom. Betty avoids looking directly at them, but she’s sure Veronica’s expression is a mask of heartbreak.

Archie doesn’t let go of Betty’s hand until they reach her locker. He leans against the door, glancing at the photos she has pinned inside.

It’s then that Betty realizes she has three of her and Archie, one of her and Veronica, and exactly zero of her and Jughead.

Archie smirks. “I remember that day,” he says, pointing to a photo of Betty making a funny face at him. “I think my dad took this.”

“Yeah, he did,” Betty says. She can’t help but notice how comfortable Archie looks next her right now, like they do this every day.

Betty catches snippets of conversation from some of their classmates as they pass by, most of them saying something along the lines of:“Looks like they moved on quickly,” or “Guess Jones is actually dead, after all.”

Archie leans closer to her. “Do you think this is working?” he asks.

Betty smiles, putting a hand on his arm like they’re sharing a private joke. “It seems like it.” She glances around the hallway, taking a deep breath. “Everyone is staring at us.”

“Let them,” Archie says. “That’s the whole point, right?”

Just as the bell rings, he leans down and kisses her on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” he tells her.

Betty feels herself blush. “See you, Arch,” she manages to say. She can’t believe she’s getting flustered by a _cheek kiss_. She’s supposed to be thinking about Jughead, not enjoying this weird alternate reality where Archie is her boyfriend instead. Letting herself fall into this delusion is dangerous. It’s….irresponsible.

But as Betty watches Archie glance back at her, she decides she wants to live in the fantasy a little longer.

___

They carry on like that for another week.

Archie’s almost frightened by how easy it is for him to fall into the role of Betty’s boyfriend. He barely feels like he’s pretending whenever he grabs her hand or offers to carry her books.

On Tuesday, he sits beside her in English class. He watches her study her notes, the sunlight streaming in through the classroom windows bathing her in warm light. She looks soft and content, and Archie resists the urge to reach over and touch her hand. Then he realizes that he can, because everyone thinks he’s her boyfriend.

On Wednesday, he brings her coffee in the student lounge. They hang out with Kevin and Fangs, and Archie’s hand never leaves Betty’s leg.

On Thursday, he gives her his letterman jacket to wear when she’s cold on their walk to school. He expects her to take it off and leave it in her locker, but she tells him that wearing it looks “realistic.” It’s a reminder that this is all for show, but Archie likes it anyway.

On Friday, they get milkshakes after school. It’s just like all of the other times they’ve gone to Pop’s, except this time when Pop Tate brings their drinks over, he says: “I always knew you two would get together!” Apparently, they've gotten the entire town wrapped up in their scheme.

Archie doesn’t hear much from Betty the whole weekend, and he tries not to let it bother him. There’s no reason for them to be hanging out outside of school, logically. She’s probably holed up with Jughead in the bunker, going over the evidence they’ve compiled against the Stonies.

Sure enough, Archie receives a text from Betty on Sunday night that reads: _We cracked the case! Going to Stonewall with Jughead tomorrow to bust the preppies._

Another text follows. _Thank you for your help with all of this. You were a great fake-boyfriend <3._

Archie feels a twinge of disappointment as he reads her words. He had known this would have to come to an end eventually, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

_Of course,_ he texts back. He remembers their text exchange after their first pretend kiss. He’d deleted the second part of his message then, but now he sends the words.

_Happy to do that any time._


End file.
